The rocks that sharpen you. The Journey of Manhod, Day 3

Well here we are in the next part of the journey into manhood. Right now I want to tell you that this is a journey I am committing to finish with you guys still on the journey with me. I am learning along the way and hope that you are as well. Before we get started I have something I want to ask you, "Will you commit right now to finish this journey with me?" Your journey may not follow mine exactly, as each of us are different, but will you commit to sticking with me through this journey to the end? I am thinking this is going to be a 30 or 40 day journey, but it will be no longer than 40 days, I promise. I challenge you to consider this right now and make your commitment by the end of today to make it to the end. 

Well, lets get started now as we have some new territory to cover. You may be wondering what the title for this day's journey is supposed to mean, "The rocks that sharpen you." Well each of us have been influenced so far by the people in our lives that are close to us. If you have close friends, even if you don't realize it, they have made a impact in your life. Your close friends, your father or a trusted male figure in your life, all of them have made a impact in your life. The question is have they sharpened you or have you grown dull from their influence?  If you as a young man want to grow and mature into a real man and enter into authentic manhood you need to have men in your life that are going to sharpen you from knowing them, not dull your character and hinder your development into manhood. I am not saying that you have to cut off communication with men that aren't sharpening you as a man, but what I am saying is that you shouldn't depend on them nor should they be the closest friends in your life. The men you are closest to are going to impact your life and the man you become, so it is important to choose well those who are closest to you.

While our fathers often do impact us, not every young man has an loving father who has been there for him, been a true dad and loved him. A great father can be a huge influence and impact in a young man's life. However, I know not all young men today have fathers like that. Many young men may come from broken homes and endured through painful and hard times at home or may be going through that at home right now. If that is the case, I really encourage you to commit to sticking with me in this journey into manhood.

"We can't determine who our fathers are, but we can determine who we seek and allow to be men of influence in our life."

We can't determine who our fathers are, but we can determine who we seek and allow to be men of influence in our life. If you have a loving father and he has played a big impact in your life you are fortunate as many young men today don't have a father like that. If you don't have a father or he has not been a loving father to you, that has also likely impacted you. The men in our lives, who are close to us and we allow to be a part of our life are a influence in our life. The question is what kind of a impact have they had? I encourage you to think about that.

I know some of you already have young men in your life that are great friends, that you can fully trust and confide in. However, many men do not have friends like that. If you don't have friends like that, make a decision right now to meet and make friends like that. Maybe you don't yet think you have to have close friends for this journey into authentic manhood. If that is you, I am going to be honest with you, you will probably fail if you go on this path to manhood alone.

"I am going to be honest with you, you will probably fail if you go on this path to manhood alone."

I know that sometimes young men can be very determined, resourceful and good at doing things on their own. I myself have always been very determined in things and learned to teach myself a lot of skills, but many things I have learned from my close friends that I either didn't have a desire to look into or learn and would not have learned if not for their influence in my life. Sometimes I have made choices that were not easy to make and would not have remained determined and focused if not for the friends that were there to encourage me and remind me of things I had forgotten. Of course finding those friends, who you can trust, confide in and grow close to without having to worry about being honest with, isn't always easy. 

I have usually been good at discerning the friends in my life that I can confide in and having that trust I admit has probably made it easier for me to develop close friendships. As young men fighting for our hearts, we have to also protect what we are fighting for. That means protecting our hearts and choosing who we develop friendships with, developing a friendship with a guy who can't be confided in and trusted is not a good idea. So how do you go about meeting and developing deep friendships? That is a good question, in my life I have made and meet friends like that in many ways. 

I continue to work towards being intentional with those existing friends to maintain and grow those friendships and also in meeting new friends. One of my good friends, who I made in High School I sometimes got mad at for various reasons, but I decided not to go and try to get even with him for the things he did. He was a friend and I knew that I wanted to develop closer friendships in my life so I invested in him and continued to get to know him even though he would sometimes really make me mad. 

If a friend does something that upsets you, making a point to take revenge on that friend isn't going to deepen your friendship or build trust. That doesn't mean you should allow someone to continue to take advantage of you or treat you wrong, but rather talk to him about what he did. Your friend might not even realize what he did to you. I can honestly say that my friendship with that guy continued to grow and also grew later in college grew even more. I was also able to help him later in college because of the trust in our friendship, and I was able to help him out with some hard trials he went through later in college as he was able to confide in me about them. Our friendship is one that I will always treasure and I am glad to have him as a friend, a life long one. So trust is a vital thing in a friendship and breaking it is the worst thing you can do. However, even if that trust is broken by your friend, don't in turn break his trust in you. If you can't trust a friend you shouldn't confide in him, but at the same time don't break his trust in you. 

For some men they don't naturally trust other men and it isn't easy for them to confide in other men, even their friends. That doesn't mean they can't end up being close friends and life long buddies, just as other men will influence and impact you, you are going to influence and impact the lives of your friends. Perhaps the example of trust that loving your friends despite their inability to be trusted will change them and mold them in a way that leads to them becoming a true and authentic man, as well as a close friend to you.

I have started to get into other areas for this journey, so I want to bring today's journey back to the focus before the end of this day's journey. The point is the men you choose and place around you, will impact you, they will play a part in the man you one day become. You can tell a wise man by the company he keeps I once heard. 

Here are some questions to guide you in the journey of manhood for examining the men of influence in your life and the impact they have had and the men of influence you should seriously consider finding in your life.

1. Who has made the biggest impact in your life? Why?
2. Is that person a male figure? If it isn't, have you had male figures who have made a significant impact in your life?
3. How old are the people who have made the greatest impact in your life compared to you? If they are all about the same age, do you think that has any significance be it good or bad.
4. Do you have close male friends that you are close to and can confide in and trust? If not how important is it to you to find some? If you do, how has that impacted your life?
5. In what ways have the men of influence in your life impacted your life goals, aspirations and dreams? Have they grown or dwindled?
6. Do you have at least one or two close male friend(s) in your life now that you see or hang out with regularly? How has having this or not having this been helping or hurting you in the journey of manhood?
7. Do you think it is important to choose carefully the people in your life that you are close friends with and that have a impact in your life? Why?

Message Board You can discuss this article with other young men on the YMH forum, to go to this day's topic click here.